Caroline Phipps

As we take our first tentative steps into a New Year, hospitals are full, politicians are bickering and the weather here in the Berkshires has been doing a fine impersonation of damp and chilly England. While New Year’s Eve brings with it the sensation of starting anew, how effective are the usual resolutions and good intentions that go with flipping our yearly calendar page when things feel like more of the same? 

The fascinating thing about these times is that, in truth, nothing is the same. But the evolutionary ground is shifting under our feet so fast that it’s hard for our cultural minds to keep up. The accelerating changes of the last couple of years have a purpose, I believe, because they have turned a spotlight on what, and who, we value: A contagious virus reminds us of our mortality and the value of a simple hug. Storming the Capital reminds us of the value of our democracy. Wildfires remind us that our crisp, clean Berkshire air can’t be taken for granted. Things are different now, and new year’s resolutions to cut back the carbs and cocktails aren’t going to cut the mustard, because we are different now. And this can be a good thing. 

Many of our beliefs and subsequent behavior come from cultural programming. In industrialized parts of the world, we have been encouraged to fit neatly into the economic machinery, no questions asked: Make money, buy stuff, and conform. But the last couple of years has put a spanner in this works and people of all ages are now challenging the status quo. “The Great Resignation” continues to make headlines as workers demand more respect, better conditions, and, in many cases, work that has meaning and purpose. With research showing that the biggest regret of the dying is not having had the courage to live a life true to themselves, it’s not a minute too soon to re-evaluate what we are all doing here. 

Savvy corporations and brilliant business minds understand this shift in perception perfectly. To appeal to our evolving sensibilities and values, out are words and concepts such as, “winning”, “competing”, and “targeting” and in are buzz words such as “win/win”, “sustainability”, “purpose”, “balance”, and “alignment”. 

But as with everything in this world, an energetic shift creates opposing forces, and the resulting turmoil brings with it this sense of being stuck in a glue trap. And feeling stuck in the age of speed, (a month today would have been years, decades, even centuries historically), is particularly disorientating, confusing, and frustrating because we have a better understanding of what we value, and a clearer picture of how to care for what we value. 

And this is why, I believe, we will be continually nudged away from a world driven by the accumulation of things, and the concept of winners and losers, towards a more heart-centered, connected, and purposeful existence. But that’s not to say it will be an easy road because for this we are going to need more than willpower, and intellect, to give us the necessary stamina to navigate this new dawn effectively. 

We will need to let go of what was then, and place our trust in the things we have come to value most today, all of which have a common thread: Which is one divinely simple universal truth, we are all in this together and that sharing and caring for one another, and our earthly home, is what matters most.

 

Caroline Phipps
www.carolinephipps.com

The Emotional Minefield 
Do You Know Where You’re Standing?

Are you living in an emotional minefield tiptoeing around other people? Or do others have to tiptoe around you?

Last month we discussed hyper-sensitivity and the challenges around the giving and taking of offense. So many of you reached out that I thought it might be helpful to take a closer look at some effective ways to deal with the pressures of these emotionally charged days, particularly with the holiday season just around the corner.

As previously touched on in this series, the only power we have is being responsible for ourselves. It’s simply not possible to fully control how others behave. 

Communicate with kindness when you feel hurt to clear up any misunderstanding and avoid triggering heightened sensitivity. And be prepared to listen if you have caused hurt. But this only works if everyone involved can rise above the situation and has a genuine desire to make things better, as opposed to trying to establish righteousness. Forcing somebody into apologizing just to keep the peace when they don’t mean it, only builds up resentment, making the situation more volatile and intractable.

So, if you are interacting with people with short fuses or others are having to interact with your short fuse, here are some immediate and effective strategies that will help:

When emotional buttons are being pressed and the situation is about to blow, walk away. It sounds so simple but putting some distance between you and the triggers is enough to break the cycle. It’s our reactive, knee-jerk response that escalates the tension. Buttons can only be pressed if it’s allowed. 

Don’t be too quick to defend yourself unless the circumstances truly call for it such as if you are genuinely in danger. Explain yourself to increase understanding, yes, but don’t try to change somebody else’s mind or mood. Trying to establish rightness only creates more pushback.

Show by example: Behavior is contagious and keeping calm will help defuse an emotionally charged situation. Because acting out needs an audience, anger, outrage, and indignation will only keep it going. 

Humor: Much of what we get into emotional fights over is absurd and not worth getting so upset over. Seeing the funny side of an over-blown situation gives it some perspective in the grand scheme of things and allows us to speak the truth in a way that is easier to accept. 

It’s a truly miraculous thing that we have these powers to create the kind of world we want:  The more understanding we are the more understood we can hope to be. Knowing the universal law that what goes around comes around means that we can trust it to take care of what we cannot. All we need to do is care for our behavior and let the universe do the rest.

Published on
October 2021

Feeling offended and expressing outrage is now all the rage, affecting every aspect of our lives. Of course, short fuses and limited tolerance have their place when an offense is serious and damaging. But in my inner elegance coaching practice, there's an increasing hypersensitivity to perceived and actual slights that's become the issue dominating relationships, causing unnecessary pain and confusion.

The emotional tripwires created by this heightened sensitivity are becoming increasingly complex to navigate. The last thing most of us want is to offend (particularly loved ones), which ironically plays right into the hands of those who understand the power of being deliberately offensive for their ends. The offense can only be caused when we are quick to take offense. Politicians, for example, understand this only too well. The sting is instant, and it's a cheap way to make a splash or feel superior without making any effort.

So, why are we so easy to offend? Rudeness, blame, bullying, condescension, discrimination, and shaming trigger numerous negative feelings, from outrage and resentment to hurt and humiliation. Feeling unjustly treated or judged this way kicks in our primitive survival impulse: "How dare they?"

Read more at carolinephipps.com

Mental health issues are increasingly at the forefront of conversations today. Athletes are openly discussing their struggles with stress and anxiety; many people are leaving jobs in record numbers, often citing burnout and depression, and incidents of disruptive behavior have emerged everywhere—from airlines to grocery stores.

Today, we are encouraged to share our feelings in previously unthinkable ways. Having grown up in England, where expressing emotions was frowned upon, seeing such openness is a welcome relief. It feels reassuring to know that we are not alone in our struggles and that there is no longer a stigma attached to revealing our feelings or seeking help.

Given the challenges we’re facing, I find myself navigating emotional turmoil with greater intensity than ever. This can be positive when we thoughtfully explore these issues and try to understand why we feel the way we do. We can create meaningful connections by channeling our emotions in healthy and productive ways, such as using the fear of vulnerability to cultivate empathy for others. Unfortunately, I am also witnessing a troubling rise in inappropriate self-expression, which is disruptive and even destructive.

 

Read more on carolinephipps.com/the-scars-we-create

 

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast 
With DJ Rick Schneider 
98.1 FM - WQZE 

March, 23rd 2017

Resist or Surrender?

Knowing When To Push Back And When To Let Go

 

We are taught that we promote our own suffering when we resist our circumstances, and yet we have a strong urge to stand up for what we believe in. It’s an endless dilemma. So how to know when it’s productive to resist and when it is more effective to simply let it go? Understanding what is within our control and what is not is a great place to start.

Inspiration For An Elegant Week 

You Have The Answer. 
Stepping Into Your Elegant Space. 

We all have an elegant space – a place where we align mind, body and spirit to understand ourselves better. And this understanding unlocks the most powerful tool we have, the answer within us. 

Monday, November 2, 2015

 

This is a re-run of the Inspiration for an Elegant Week, “You Have The Answer: Stepping Into Your Elegant Space.”

 

In 2012, 8 year old Vivienne Harr saw a photograph of two young African slave boys weighed down by huge pieces of rock strapped to their heads. They were holding hands. She said, “they should be playing,” and she vowed to free 500 of them.

Vivienne’s mission started with her heart but she also understood that compassion without action wouldn’t be enough. She tapped into her elegant space and found the answer: Setting up a lemonade stand with the help of her parents and younger brother.Today The Make A Stand Movement is a global phenomenon.

This amazingly elegant young girl found her own answer. Her example reminds us that we are way more powerful than we know when we put faith and trust in our intuition and act on what we know is the right thing to do. She trusted intuitively that everything we need we already have to succeed.

 

In this video, “You Have The Answer” we see that the only control we have in this world is the control we have over ourselves. When we step into the silence, stillness and solitude of our elegant space we can access the power of our intuition and discover answers, that we never knew we had, that can reshape our lives and reshape the world.

 

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast 
With DJ Rick Schneider 
98.1 FM - WQZE 

February, 2 2017

Cultivating A Sense Of Inner Freedom Is The Only Way To Be Truly Free

On The Up & Running Morning Show, DJ Rick Schneider I talk about Freedom: The illusion of Freedom, what it means to be truly Free, and strategies for creating a greater sense of freedom in our daily lives.

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast
With DJ Rick Schneider 
98.1 FM - WQZE 

January, 26 2016

What Do You Think?
Our Thoughts Shape Our World
Aired on August, 18 2016

Summary

In this insightful segment of the Up and Running Morning Show on 98.1 KZE, host Rick and life and executive coach Caroline Phipps delve into the power of thinking and its profound impact on our choices and the world we live in. Caroline emphasizes the importance of critical thinking, cautioning against lazy, fear-driven, and knee-jerk reactions to complex issues like GMOs, Brexit, and societal violence. She advocates for researching facts, embracing empathy, and remaining open to changing one’s mind based on thoughtful reflection and evidence. The conversation highlights how collective thinking shapes societal outcomes and encourages listeners to cultivate positive, informed thoughts to create a better life and community. Caroline also offers free coaching sessions to help others harness smart thinking for a fulfilling life.

Highlights

• [01:11] 🤔 The power of thinking shapes our choices and ultimately the world around us.
• [03:12] 🥦 Many hold strong opinions about GMOs without knowing all the facts.
• [05:09] ⚖️ Fear-based decisions, like Brexit, often stem from misinformation rather than facts.
• [07:15] 📉 Despite perceptions, violence rates are much lower now than 25 years ago.
• [08:21] 😊 Positive thinking transforms how we experience daily life.
• [09:00] 💡 Empathy and openness to different views foster better understanding and smarter decisions.
• [11:10] 🔄 It’s okay and important to change your mind when new information emerges.

Key Insights

• [01:38] 🧠 Our thinking is influenced by upbringing, culture, and environment, often leading to lazy thinking that lacks critical examination. This insight calls for mindfulness in how we form opinions.
• [03:55] 🧬 The evolving scientific consensus on food issues like GMOs and salt illustrates the need for ongoing inquiry rather than fixed beliefs. Holding flexible views allows adaptation to new evidence.
• [05:22] 🌍 Collective decisions, especially those driven by fear or misinformation, can have large-scale societal impacts, such as Brexit, underscoring the responsibility of informed thinking.
• [06:47] 📊 Real statistics can challenge popular narratives, such as the actual decline in violence, showing that perception and reality often diverge. Critical examination of data is essential.
• [08:41] 💭 Avoiding knee-jerk judgments and cultivating empathy enables us to learn even from opposing viewpoints, expanding understanding and reducing polarization.
• [09:41] ⚠️ In today’s polarized world, black-and-white thinking hampers progress; embracing nuance and complexity leads to better decision-making and social harmony.
• [11:32] 🎁 Offering free coaching sessions, Caroline models generosity and empowerment, showing how sharing knowledge and guidance inspires positive change in others.

This conversation is a powerful reminder that by cultivating awareness, curiosity, and kindness in our thinking, we can transform not only our lives but also the world around us—one thoughtful choice at a time.

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast
With DJ Rick Schneider 
98.1 FM - WQZE 

December, 15 2016

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast
With DJ Rick Schneider 
98.1 FM - WQZE 

November, 17 2016 

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast
With DJ Rick Schneider 
98.1 FM - WQZE 

October, 27 2016 

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast
With DJ Rick Schneider 
98.1 FM - WQZE 

December, 15 2016

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast
With DJ Rick Schneider 
98.1 FM - WQZE 

July, 21 2016

 

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast
With DJ Rick Schneider 
98.1 FM - WQZE 

May, 19 2016

 

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast
With DJ Rick Schneider 
98.1 FM - WQZE 

April, 21 2016

 

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast
With DJ Rick Schneider 
98.1 FM - WQZE 

March,17 2016

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast
With DJ Rick Schneider 
98.1 FM - WQZE 

February,18 2016

 

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast
With DJ Rick Schneider 
98.1 FM - WQZE 

January, 16 2016

 

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast
With DJ Rick Schneider 
98.1 FM - WQZE 

December, 17 2015